Managing the Holidays for those With Dementia

Holidays often are full of emotions and expectations to be full of laughter, positive moments, and sharing of good times, but they can also bring disappointment, stress, and unhappiness. Those individuals who are experiencing cognitive loss, especially at the beginning of their diagnosis, may feel sadness about the changes they have experienced, and those who care for them may be overwhelmed with how to keep up with traditions and still maintain a continuity of care.

The person with dementia may have different perceptions and understanding of the holiday season, so “going with the flow” may be the best advice as you navigate the holidays. Having a large gathering may cause anxiety, so look at inviting a smaller group. Shorten the time of the gatherings to prevent overstimulation. Prior to the holidays, have conversations with family and friends in person, on the phone, or even in a letter about the changes they may see in the person with dementia. Acknowledging ahead of time that a person with dementia may not remember everyone, and for them to try not to be offended, but rather embrace that they are able to share time together. If the person becomes more confused or agitated in the evenings due to sundowning, consider changing the meal or celebration to earlier in the day. Some traditions, like gift exchanges, candlelight dinners, and blinking lights, may have to be altered. Simplifying the decorations and limiting changes in the room layout may help to keep them calm and safer.

However you decide to celebrate, it is important to involve the person with dementia. Focus on the things that bring them happiness and let go of the activities that overwhelm them. Maintaining the person’s normal routine as much as possible will help to prevent confusion, chaos, and tension. Ask them to be involved in the preparation, like helping to wrap packages, decorating the home, and even preparing family recipes. Focus on the things that bring them happiness and see if they would like to look at photos, listen to familiar music, or watch favorite movies. See if they would like to hear your memories and stories while not expecting them to remember. They might even share stories that are not factual, but they may enjoy the storytelling all the same.

When the dinner or celebration comes around, have a quiet space available where the person can retreat. Ask family members or friends to stay with the person living with dementia for some one-on-one time to provide companionship while giving the care partner a time of respite. To avoid disappointment, be flexible about plans and manage your expectations. Be realistic about their participation, involvement, and reactions to the activities.

Making adaptations like simplifying traditions, emphasizing enjoyment over perfection, and minimizing changes that might disorient your loved one can help to find joy in the holiday season. With some planning and creativity, you can find ways to celebrate that offer comfort for your loved one while making positive memories together.